So it’s been a while since I went on a date, so today was the first date I’ve had in over a year!
Why so long? Well I felt it was important to take time out of the dating world and relationships to heal from my past hurts and experiences, work on my personal development and self sabotaging issues before I allowed myself to get involved with another guy. I am determined to have a healthy committed relationship free from unnecessary drama – so I WILL choose wisely!
After feeling like the invisible woman and getting sick with loneliness and “just wanting to meet someone ALREADY!” I decided to sign myself up to Match.com to see if I could get my ‘That’s just me’ (singing) story started. After sifting through too many profiles to remember and speaking to guys that I totally DID NOT click with, this guy sent me a ‘wink,’ I checked out his profile and REALLY liked what I read, so I sent him a message, we exchanged numbers (I hate long internet chats, they are just too unreal for me) and had a little telephone chat. That went well, he asked if we could meet (although it has taken about a month because we are both workaholics and ‘busy’ people!) and the rest is history – well one and a half dates of history!!!
… I am also pleased to say that today’s date was really pleasant (although he was half an hour late, which pissed me off a little, but he was very apologetic and he was coming from East to South London so it was forgivable – this time lol!!). He seems like he is a decent guy (hard to find nowadays), we had good conversation, he was a gentleman, we seemed to get on well, we have lots in common AND I think we will see each other again!
…The only thing is, I know its early days, but I’m not really feeling a huge attraction to him yet. It’s only the first ‘proper’ date (the first one we met for 30 mins on his lunch break, and it went so fast it felt like it didn’t really happen lol!)
…So I’m thinking this one may just be a slow burner, but I’m so used to being instantly attracted to guys and being really intense straight away (not healthy at all and probably why they don’t last lol!!) So I’m just gonna go with the flow with this one and see how things go. I’m at the stage now (AGE 32 – I cant believe it!!), that I really want to meet someone that I can settle down with. I want friendship, a shared life vision, romance, ‘the spark,’ love, marriage, kids the works!!! I’ve been in several serious relationships over the years, I’ve been engaged twice, the topic of possible marriage and near proposals have come up almost 10 times (I know a lot right lol?!!?), but I’ve never managed to tie the knot! The film ‘Run Away Bride’ comes to mind as I write this lol! So after so many near misses and countless heart breaking experiences I am sooooo ridiculously cautious and a little afraid of commitment. I am however ready to start exploring my options and giving myself a chance at love again…more to come soon hopefully!!! 🙂