Music progress

So if you ready my earlier blog ‘free to be me’ and the other music blogs I’ve written, you may be interested to know that I am having an absolute BLAST this year on my music journey so far.

I am learning music theory, the guitar, taking vocal lessons and I’ve now added the keyboard to my repertoire – nothing can stop me now!!!  I am realising how important the theory is now, it’s the building blocks and foundation for music – if you can grasp this, the rest is just creative fun!  If I had managed to grasp this when I was a little younger, who knows where I would be today?!?!  But hey, I cant waste time on ‘coulda, shoulda, wouldas,’ so I am finally getting on with my music and I am so excited, I feel so content and peacful and I just want more and more of it… 🙂

… The DjW event I did yesterday, was amazing!!  Everyone enjoyed the set that I did and most importantly, I feel like I was able to plant some seeds of encouragement and inspiration, pointing towards God which I believe is the key to life!  We are already in talks about putting on future nights, so watch this space!

Being on stage is like my 2nd home!   There is a side of me that is released and its like I sort of watch this person from within and I’m in awe of her confidence and the voice sounds beautiful, I almost cant believe its me lol!!!  I had great comments about my voice from “girl you can definitely sing,” to “what a voice!” and “wow you have a beautiful voice!”  Hearing this is so touching and encouraging because singing is the one thing that I love to do more than anything else, but its also the one thing I question with thoughts like “am I good enough?”  Or “theres so many others better than me, what makes me think I can really do this professionally?”  I know I shouldnt punish myself with comparison, so I try to nip those thoughts in the bud before they run riot in my mind and I will continue to work and develop until I get where I want to be, but also making sure I enjoy the journey no matter the outcome.

…I’m so inspired right now, I’m now brushing up on my keyboard skills (after 16 years of not playing), and I’m amazed at how much I actually still remember (its kind of like riding a bike, once you learn its always with you).  I guess the old saying “don’t use it, you lose it” doesn’t apply in my case lol!!  Its all still there, its just finding it again.  I’m sure this has something to do with my prayers, asking God to help me grasp everything speedily and to advance me quickly so that I can catch up with the years of missed practice – so I am really seeing the fruit of these prayers!!!  I composed my first song on the keys this week and I was amazed at how well I played, it was literally like my fingers just knew what to do.  Now after spending the afternoon with my uncle who showed me some great tips, (he is such a great teacher and so inspiring) I feel like I have jumped forward 10 steps!  I now have some exercises to practice to develop my keyboard playing and my uncle has shown me how to incorporate various 1st, 2nd and 3rd inversion chords combined with base notes to enhance the chords I have chosen for my song, so I’m really excited about developing this track!

…I’m gonna start some serious recording within the next 2 weeks, so I am really excited about being able to get my music heard and hearing feedback and continuing my development…happy times:)

Xx

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Dealing with loss, remembering Mum xx

It’s been 2 years since my dear sweet mother passed away. I still have days where I can’t believe she’s not here. At times I have to really retrace my steps and memories to work out where my mum is.

I miss her so much, I miss the times we’ve shared and the times in the future that we will only share in my
Imagination. I often wonder what mum would say or do in various situations…?When I’m doing a performance I imagine her look of glee and hear her voice in my mind saying: “ahh my baby, I’m so proud of you…” – smile:)

…Every year my sister and I plan a special day on my mums birthday and spend the day together in her honour.
Mum always loved the theatre, so this year we planned a trip to the west-end to watch The Wizard of Oz (mine and my sisters favourite when we were growing up. I’ve lost count how many times we watched it – it was a LOT!!!!)

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Seeing it again was great fun, it was very similar to the film in my opinion (so it was like paying to see an overpriced film on stage Lol!!)
We also had a lovely chat over dinner at a gorgeous Tai restaurant, where we reminisced over the good times with mum and giggled over some fun times:)

I love spending time with my sister. It makes me feel like home and reminds me how precious and special life is and that the people we love should be cherished.

❤ I love you mummy! ❤

Xxx Happy Birthday xxX

Self Esteem

Today I’ve just started reading a book about self esteem and it’s got me thinking about my self esteem and the highs and lows I’ve experienced.  Its been an ongoing uphill battle at times, but I am thankful that I am on the up nowadays.  I think I can equate it to a combination of things (personal therapy, my counselling training, my faith in God, self acceptance etc).

I have come to the conclusion now that the foundation of my self

esteem comes from understanding and accepting myself

(which is an ongoing process) and most importantly…

…what I believe about myself.


Also in my profession as a counsellor and personal development trainer, I have witnessed personally from my client work how the thoughts and beliefs that run through ones mind (from past negative, difficult and painful experiences), can so powerfully overtake a person and literally have the power to break you.

However, when a person begins the journey into self awareness and starts to see the effects of their experiences in their thought life, with this insight they can choose to begin the process of replacing the old unhelpful beliefs with new life giving truthful beliefs – this is a process.  In my truthful and honest opinion, my experience has shown me that only God can supernaturally change a person, restore and heal the deep hurts that life has bruised us with.  Then the word (Jesus/The Bible) continues the ongoing washing, healing and restoration process.

Simply put: WHAT YOU BELIEVER ABOUT YOURSELF IS WHAT WILL MANIFEST AS YOUR REALITY.

So, simply put again: in order to challenge and change your thoughts, beliefs, perceptions etc.  The mind must be challenged about the negative, old and unhelpful thoughts/beliefs and replaced/renewed with new positive, inspiring, empowering, life giving thoughts/beliefs etc.

I believe that only Gods word is the true inspiration and has the transforming power that we need to renew our minds and our lives to live peaceful, purposeful and fulfilled lives.

Life is a journey, an ongoing process and we are always learning…


BUT one must start their journey with a true and honest intention to seek answers to their quetions and solutions for their problems etc…and be willing to put the work in – THEN the exciting process of change, growth and development etc begins!

I have come to the stage in my journey that I fully, whole heartedly and completely rely solely on every word that God gives (either through the bible or spiritual revelation).

The word of God is my: strength, hope, inspiration, encouragement, comfort, wisdom, motivation, empowerment, guide.  It is the reflection I need in the areas of my life that needs growth, development and maturity.

I simply cannot function in this life without God and I NEED to spend as much time as I can in His presence (reading the word, meditating, reflecting, praying, worshipping with music, being in church and with like minded believers).

I have tried MANY things to manage and cope with life but honestly, nothing comes close to a true relationship, utter and complete dependence on God.
I have to be honest though, I do have my down days when I will think various negative thoughts like:

“What’s the point?” 

“Am I really getting anywhere?” 

“When will I see the answer to the prayers I’ve prayed long ago?”

……And the classic:

“Its not fair, why me?” or even “Why not me – when will it be my turn?”

But I realise that sometimes its just the enemy taunting me and trying to upset me, steal my joy, plant seeds of doubt etc, and other times its just me allowing the old thoughts and negative thoughts (based on past experiences) replay in my mind.  At these times, I may have a little sulk, shed some tears, take a rest and listen to some inspiring music, find something inspiring to read, pray and/or I’ll channel these thoughts and feelings into writing a song or journalling etc.  Every day and situation is different, so I just go with the flow of what is right for that moment.

However God is without a doubt my lifeline and I am learning to trust Him daily.

X x

The warfare worshipper!

“You’re a worship leader, you’re on the frontline!”

After consulting the people, the king appointed singers to walk ahead of the army, singing to the LORD and praising him for his holy splendor. This is what they sang:

“Give thanks to the LORD;
his faithful love endures forever!”

2 Chronicles 20:21

As I was reading the scriptures above and below, after my house was broken into last week.  It seemed to me that God was reminding me that in addition to being a child of God, as worship leaders we are automatically on the front line in battle (spiritual battle).  Which means that I will be an enemy target and he will try to take me out, upset me, cause harm, frustrate things (overall: steal, kill and destroy – the usual!) at every opportunity he gets (hense the break in).

HOWEVER!!!  I serve and am in relationship with the almighty God, the author and the finisher of all things!  So even though the enemy may roar (smashing my glass), He cannot touch me (nothing was stolen)!

Now I’m gonna be real, it is costing me money which I would prefer not to spend to repair the damage and add additional security to the property, but I have prayed and demanded that every penny I spend will be returned to me – so WHEN it is returned, I will write about it!

So I will continue to worship God, I will take my place on the front line and keep lifting my praises to God, worry free knowing that God is fighting my battles and taking care of EVERYTHING!

22 At the very moment they began to sing and give praise, the LORD caused the armies of Ammon, Moab, and Mount Seir to start fighting among themselves

27 Then all the men returned to Jerusalem, with Jehoshaphat leading them, overjoyed that the LORD had given them victory over their enemies. 28 They marched into Jerusalem to the music of harps, lyres, and trumpets, and they proceeded to the Temple of the LORD.

2 Chronicles 20: 22,27- 28,

The enemey must and will stop when we take our authority in spiritual warfare

Amen!

Happy pancake day!!!

Pancakes with a yummy twist!!

Getting my ingredients together

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Making a nice batter

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A sprinkle of baking powder to give a little rise and make it a little interesting!

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The finale!!  Pancakes topped with banana, mini chocolate twirls and vanilla caramel Ice cream

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YUM!!

Wisdom for the ladies xx

“A girls heart should be so lost in God, that the guy has to seek Wisdom from God in order to find it

Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart – Psalm 37:4

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life – Proverbs 4:23

Bless you Xx

A Message from God: Part 1

(Re-posted, due to accidental deleting!)

He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds – Psalm 147:3

During my devotional this morning I was praying about what I would write today.

I’ve got a million stories in my head to write, but I’m trusting God to lead me.  This week I have felt inspired to concentrate on the Psalms, so as I was reading Psalm 147, the above verse jumped out at me.  Immediately a memory came back to me about a phone call I had just over a year ago.  The phone call was from a lady from my old church and I could not remember the last time I had seen or spoken to her – it had been a while to say the least.  She said God had told her to call me And give me a Message.

He said:

He needed me to get into a church because there were some things He wanted to work out in me, but  He needed me to be in a place of corporate worship.

On reflection I realise that there is power when believers come together!  When 2 more are gathered in Jesus name, God is present and miracles can take place!

 

“For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them” – Matthew 18:19.

I hadn’t been to church in months and I had no intention of going anytime soon.  I was angry and hurting, disgusted with church and people in it.  I felt downtrodden, let down, mistreated, unloved and discarded. I sinking into a depression and I knew I needed something because I felt so lost and confused, so it was quite an ‘uh mmmm’ moment for me!!!  Could this really be a word from God?

I didn’t act on this immediately, I decided anything God needed to do or say he could do anywhere – He had just proved that anyway by getting a random woman to call me and give me a message out of the blue!

I didn’t trust anyone and I certainly was not going back to my old church for more pain – no way!!  I was so vulnerable, wounded and scarred from a combination of events there that I just couldn’t bear to put myself through any more unnecessary torture.  No, if God wanted me in church, I wasn’t going anywhere until it sure that I would be safe.

One of my closest and longest friends invited me to church with her 1 Sunday and I tagged along because I didn’t have anything else to do, so I thought why not!  It was a beautiful experience.  The worship was soothing and uplifting, it was medicine to my spirit and soul.  The message was uplifting and inspiring, I felt at ease there and I knew it was somewhere I would come again.  I also bumped into some long lost friends, which was a pleasant surprise, so overall I actually had a good time!  The church was advertising the start of an Alpha course in the New Year.  I remembered the message I had received from God from that lady, so I figured I would give it a try – what was the worst that could happen?  I was already at rock bottom anyway, so I guessed it wouldn’t do much more harm!

I left the church that day feeling quite hopeful; maybe God was right getting back into church?  I would find out…look out for part 2 coming soon…

O LORD, you have examined my heart and know everything about me – Psalm 139:1

…God is so good, I asked Him to show me what to write in my blog today and as I got into His word, this blog pretty much wrote itself!  I had no intention of writing my blog this morning (I just wrote my last one a few hours ago in the early hours of the morning!)  In fact MY plan was to develop some of the songs I am working on for my music course I am doing – but God knows best:)  I’m off to get ready for a vocal coaching session- another story ill tell you about soon I’m sure:)!

By for now!

xx

WOW! God is awesome!

Someone broke into my house, turned on all the lights, went upstairs rummaged through my drawers and jewellery and then left!

I came home to all of my doors wide open at around 11.30pm…

…NOTHING TAKEN!!!! NOTHING WAS  TAKEN!!!!  NOT ONE THING WAS MISSING!!!

This is a miracle!  There were so many little items that they could have picked up as they ran through the house like my iPod, SatNav, Laptops – but all remained untouched!  The only annoying thing is, I now have to fork out for a new pane of glass for my door and I’ll probably get a burgular alarm now, but I am so grateful that I am safe along with all of my belongings 🙂

God is amazing! Forever grateful for Gods love and protection – Praises!!! XXX

 Psalm 91:2,11, 14,15

This I declare about the LORD:
He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;
he is my God, and I trust him.

x x x

 The LORD says, “I will rescue those who love me.
I will protect those who trust in my name.

x x x

For he will order his angels
to protect you wherever you go

x x x
When they call on me, I will answer;
I will be with them in trouble.
I will rescue and honor them.

x x x

Amen

Happy Valentines Day – God Loves YOU XX

For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.  John 3:16




For by that one offering he forever made perfect those who are being made holy.  
Hebrews 10:14
 
This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 1John 4:9
For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.  Ephesians 2:10
HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!
xxX Bless Xxx

Prayer works!

My friend EV and I have recently started praying together, and just keeping each other accountable in our lives.  I have a few girlfriends that I know I can pray with about things, and it feels so good to know they have my back.

I got a text today from EV updating me about her court hearing on Friday (God knows why she waited 3 days to tell me!!!)  Anyway,  there was some sort of misunderstanding about fine she had with her car, she had moved and wasn’t getting the letters about it, so the fine had escalated out of hand and had resulted in a summons.  We spoke in the morning before she went to court and we prayed together over the phone.

Here is what she sent today:

Hey girl just giving you an update and praise report…thank you so much for praying with me!  Before I got there the prosecutor asked me a couple questions and was like I’m gonna speak to the judge and came back and said were not going to proceed with ur case😃He also said it was my lucky day and smiled!  I went in and he repeated what he had just told me and the judge looked at me and smiled and said you can walk out of here with a clean licence take care. I didn’t have to say a word.. The two barristers either side of the judge, the clerk and the prosecutor smiled again as I walked out ! God is GOOD! No 6 points no £700.00 fine xxxx

Praise God!

This is no coincidence, how often do people get let off fines???!!?!?!

I’ll leave it to you to ponder…

but …

…As for me and my household, we will serve the LORD Joshua 24;15

Bless xx